Carol A. Spradling, author

Andi · Colonist Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 256

Ok clever people you can have a small extract as 'you've shown me yours I'll show you mine' Laughing

Excuse if it's erratic but it is an extract and I am still working on. Very hard!

Paris 1793

Madame Lene placed her foot next to its twin on the second to last step. She lifted her hem slightly and gazed down at her feet, a small smile twisted her lips.
They had been such beautiful pink slippers. Henri had bought them home from Paris and gifted them to her on their wedding night. He had slipped them on her youthful feet and gazed from her turned ankle to her gartered knee. He had been such a loving husband. Kind and gentle that first night and for the forty years that had followed. So long a go now.
She gazed down at her feet and admired the shine of the pink satin and the grace of her ankles. They were her favourite shoes. The ones that Henri had bought home for her.

A nudge from the side broke Madams Lene’s reverie. Moving her eyes slowly up to the waiting man she frowned in confusion. ‘Up’ he said once more prodding her into movement. Dumbly obeying she lifted her graceful feet and climbed the remainder of the steps. A bench was waiting for her and she sighed in gratitude. The climb had made her quite weary a long rest would be welcome.

The metallic stench of unwashed bodies mixed with the odour of the frenzied crowd. Julian Mallory flinched at the scrape and thunk of the blade. The wild screams of delight, faces twisted in hate, lust and glee.

He had known Madame Lene.
The crone who had paused on the scaffold little resembled the bright, witty woman he had once dined with. Her once beautiful chestnut hair was a mass of white tangles. Her face lined with sorrow and confusion. Eyes dull with despair. Julian had watched as she had lifted her hem and gazed at her swollen feet and ankles. She had smiled, he remembered, frowning.
Shaking his head he to moved away as another unfortunate was hustled up to steps. He was sick of the spectacle. Day after dreadful day he watched as some he knew in passing, some he knew well and those he had never encountered were led to their grizzly fate.
He had had his fill of the sights Paris and the rest of France had to offer. He wanted to go home away from the smell of blood and fear.

DeliaM · Colonist Joined: 14 Apr 2008 Posts: 342

Wow.....That's going to be a good one, I think, Andi. I can already feel the tension.

Jeanne · Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 1:47 pm Post subject:

This was really good. When I first read the first paragraph I didn't realize Madam Lene was going to her death until Julian flinched at the scrape and thunk of the blade. I just thought she was going up stairs and the bench awaited her and a long rest would be welcomed by her. I think that one could give the argument on whether Madame Lene knew what was going to happen or she was just going up there dumbly. I think you meant it this way Andrea, I think. I think you want the reader to wonder if Madame Lene was not realizing what was going on but I think that she did. And she chose to remember Henri and the slippers. And the long rest meant death. And that she was remembering Henri because she was thinking she was going to be with him again in death.

I read some more on the Reign of Terror last week and what I read really frightened me to live in this time. I didn't know how many people got killed but now I do. And most of them were ordinary people. I had thought that it was mostly the aristocrats. And there were Watch Committees looking for anyone against the Revolution. So it must have been a frightful time for these people not to know or even be afraid to say anything. Robespierre or something like that was behind it all and according to what I read he was the last to get his head chopped off thus ending the Reign of Terror. And I read somewhere else that they would have women sitting around during some of these executions knitting or sewing along with the screaming crowds. I can't remember where I read this or how accurate that is but when you asked how people would act in the crowd, this struck me as odd. Have you ever heard this? Anyways, I don't really know how I would act if I was witnessing this. I can say how I would react in today's world but if I lived then that is another story. I would think that I would just be afraid to say or do anything suspicious and if it was one of my loved ones then I don't know.
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Don't cry if you have lost the sun. The tears won't permit you to see the stars.

brony1 · Citizen Joined: 11 May 2008 Posts: 159

Andi that is amazing. You have an awesome talent.